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Hurt People, Hurt People (People who are hurt, hurt others.)


Have you ever watched ABC's show What Would You Do? on Friday nights? What I find most interesting is the percentage of people who in the face of an abusive situation (being played out by actors in public) either do nothing or say things like, "It doesn't bother me" or "I went through it... I survived it. It made me a better person, actually." The next time you hear yourself say something like this, pause for a moment and honestly ask yourself: "Is what I'm about to say or do, or not do, going to cause myself or others harm?"

There is no such thing as an innocent bystander. We may tell ourselves we can't be positively influential in what is happening, because the truth is that we have not seen something modeled for us that would show us how to treat each other in a way that is not abusive to others or would cause back-lash to ourselves.

It can be uncomfortable to reach out to the hurtful individuals, not because we do not care, but because many do not receive any effective training to identify, understand, or address the needs of those striking out or simply doing to others what was done to them without considering the actual outfall. The more we receive new communicative skills in our places of work and in our communities, organizations and schools, the more effective we will be as a society in putting an end to the generational legacy of pain.

Reaching out takes us out of our comfort zone and makes us vulnerable. We like to stay with what we know and what works. The most difficult issue to understand is why a growing percentage of today's society don't respond to traditional approaches. By receiving proper training, we can keep from internalizing or taking their behaviors personally.

If you would like to try something different, when those times arise when you are in a What Would You Do? situation, I invite you to read my newest book The Power of Compassion: 7 Ways You Can Make A Difference because these seven ways create memory recall to subtly, yet powerfully impact personal life and workplace culture. You can read the entire book online.

Reaching out ...
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Mary ReynoldsMary Robinson Reynolds, M.S., Educational Psychologist, Author and Producer of the world renowned Internet videos, and - both amassing over 10 million views within a few short months of their releases - spent many years as a classroom teacher K-8 and then as a counselor K-12. She parlayed her phenomenal success with youth at-risk into her programs for business leaders, entrepreneurs and managers on how to be energetically effective in leading improvement in their organizations through the power of Team Synergy and MasterMinding. She has written eight books, developed UTrain&Coach programs that anyone can take into their place of work to build organization wide Team Synergy, and has presented to over 20,000 people in two year period in every major city in the U.S. To learn more go to:

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