Dear Difference Maker,

This past week, I received an email from a School Principal telling me that there weren't any bullies in his school because he was the bully! To read my response to him click on this week's Education Article.

This brings up several interesting issues. Not only do we have this in our schools, we do in fact have workplace bullies. This man is the leader of this organization. So I did, what every concerned citizen must do in our communities, world of work and education and I wrote the leaders of that school district saying:

I believe that one of your Principals responded to a topic I wrote about last week in my newsletter, "There is No Excuse for Abuse" by saying, "We honestly don't have bullying, and that's because all the students know that there's only one ‘bully' at the school, and that's me."

I see this as "teachable moment" to try to reach out those who may agree with his approach. I intend to send my thoughts on this to my subscribers for the educational portion of my newsletter. I have removed his name from his quote, but I believe his excuse for bullying is egregious, and I thought you would want to be informed about what he is admitting to. Having read about your extensive and measurable success in each of the campuses your leadership has made a positive impact in, I expect that you will not minimize the importance of this with him.

As I hope you will agree, only through addressing these issues can we reach individuals who believe that their old-school, bullying tactics are justified and honestly work, by teaching them effective ways to positively impact students.

My concern just begins with his students. What about his faculty and staff? It is my hope that you will also agree that something must be done to intercede with educators who bully and will welcome the opportunity to see to it that he receives the necessary training that he needs.

I am an author and an Educational Psychologist and Consultant. You may have seen one of my online movies, MakeADifferenceMovie.com, lostcausekid.makeadifference.com and BlueRibbonMovie.com as I reach out every week to offer logic, reason, research findings and statistics to support connecting with compassion when dealing with the challenges we face in today's society. It is my intention to offer my experience and knowledge when and where I see there is an opportunity presenting itself.

Thank you for your attention to this matter and for the difference you are making daily!

As Difference Makers, we simply must get involved in ways that are not inflammatory, offensive, belligerent or equally abusive with those who are bullying others. We all have the capacity to express opinions without blaming and shaming people into agreeing with us or stepping up and doing the right thing. When a hurtful and unnecessary behavior is wrong, it's wrong. And the more someone justifies, rationalizes, explains, defends and debates their right to be nasty and hurtful in the name of "old school" or any other supposedly "just cause," the more you can know for certain you must hang in there and keep appealing to their BEST SELVES. Everyone has one. One of the first lines of defenses for people who have justified being abusive is to minimize it or try to call it something it's not to entitle themselves to behave in such unproductive ways.

Instead of confrontation, open a dialog and stick with the facts. Use "their" language exactly as they used it so they can see just how unskillful they are behaving. In my Attitudinal Alignment eBook, I have spelled out my 7 BEST ONE LINERS for dealing with people who are unskillful and intentionally hurtful in knowing how to get heard.

To get what you want in these intense situations go to: www.AttitudeIsPower.com and buy my book now before you have your next encounter!

In my Team Synergy Corporate Training Package, I have provided every tool you need to bring people with differences together to form a community that can communicate without the need to bash, bully or pitch a fit!

Learn how to Lead Cooperatively
I didn't say addressing unskillful people was easy, but I am saying that we all have the ability to learn how to speak that we can be heard, that we can reason with logic and we can agree or disagree without negatively inflaming situations that are already emotionally charged. To go download my Gift Training Manual for you to gather ideas from that you can use go to:

makeadifference.com/CorporatePackage

Reaching out to make a difference ...

Mary

Heart Productions & Publishing, 24 Marcoux Rd., Suite 715, Newton, NH 03858